- We should see a shot of carl after the tea shot
- Carl or the voice over should say about Carl being gay after the tea shot
- "Although the FA has been running a campaign around homophobia for fans and players alike who are gay...can still be a problem" - voice over idea
- Could mention that black, gay and women are still not seen as completely equal in sports/football
- The East End Phoenix (EEP) is a team trying to change that - football team is a mix of straight and gay
- The statistics should be up at the top with the EEP
- 'Keep it to themselves' statistic should be later - "The same survey suggested..."
- Keep looking for shots of Brighton FC as there is definitely abuse videos online
- First shot of Ed goes against what we were saying
- Get shots where we hear what the fans are shouting or subtitles OR quotes of abusive words over a photo of fans
- Set the EEP up more - possibly with James' interview at the beginning - show its a mixed team not just gay men
- Difficult with Ed as no cutaways - keep Ed's banter clip - put in-between James and Jason's interviews
- Keep Ed statistics clip
- Attitudes won't change towards homophobia in football, until someone comes out and goes onto the pitch and takes the abuse
- Structure = Carl, stopped playing football because..., statistics, KickItOut campaign - introduce EEP
Zoe also reminded us that in 10 minutes we should tell the audience three things. In our case, our three things are that homophobia in football is a big problem, then about the LGBT team trying to change this attitude and then finally about the fact there are no famous, gay Premiership footballers.
She said we had everything there, we just need the correct structure. Zoe telling us what should come next really helped as it was the structure we were really struggling with. After a day of working on the improvements Jack and myself are really happy with what we have so far. The only problem is that we've cut a bit out and are slightly short at the moment, ideally we're aiming for 10 minutes but it may be around 9 minutes - we told Zoe this and she said she would be happier with a really good, informative documentary that's about a minute short than 10 minutes that doesn't fit right/doesn't make sense.
From the feedback from Zoe we have now structured the documentary like this:
- We see carl first and reveal that he is gay as early as we introduce him really. This way we keep the audience interested, if we drag it out too long then the audience may not understand what they are watching
- Carl then says about why he stopped playing football
- Statistics are next and in amongst them we see Ed and he talks about the KickItOut campaign
- We next introduce the team that's trying to change attitudes towards LGBT footballers
- We then explain that Carl is going to have a go at the training session and we hear his thoughts at the end
- Finally, our last point is about the fact there is no Premiership footballers who have come out and we see our last word from Carl as our main character
Jack and myself have also planned a small clip showing fans and then some of the abusive remarks they can come out with which type out over the blurred footage.
We have literally taken every single bit of advice from Zoe and have planned out the next steps to create a documentary that she will enjoy.
From the feedback from Zoe we have now structured the documentary like this:
- We see carl first and reveal that he is gay as early as we introduce him really. This way we keep the audience interested, if we drag it out too long then the audience may not understand what they are watching
- Carl then says about why he stopped playing football
- Statistics are next and in amongst them we see Ed and he talks about the KickItOut campaign
- We next introduce the team that's trying to change attitudes towards LGBT footballers
- We then explain that Carl is going to have a go at the training session and we hear his thoughts at the end
- Finally, our last point is about the fact there is no Premiership footballers who have come out and we see our last word from Carl as our main character
Jack and myself have also planned a small clip showing fans and then some of the abusive remarks they can come out with which type out over the blurred footage.
We have literally taken every single bit of advice from Zoe and have planned out the next steps to create a documentary that she will enjoy.
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