PRE-PRODUCTION: Feedback to Script Draft 6

Below is script draft 6:

Script 6 [DIRECT LINK]





Feedback to script draft 6:

Page 1 - I like the idea of seeing the piece of paper saying 'suspended'. This builds on the idea of Tim being suspended from University and just adds to the story for the audience's benefit. The way it falls on the floor and he quickly picks it up and puts it back in his pocket also shows the idea that he doesn't want anyone to know about his failure. This continues when he tries to persuade Tess that the vet business is a good idea.

Page 1 - We see the dad and his relationship with animals by having a photo of him with an owl on his arm. Having it so early on in the story means that the audience are informed about the dad from the beginning. Then when Tess says "an owl? Even after what happened to dad", the audience will realise who the man in the photo is. This automatically gives the audience background information on a character who isn't physically in the script but is very important within the storyline. 

Scene 12 - This scene is slightly longer now but it has become more interesting. It's funny to see him think it's Sheila behind him and to then find out it's Mark. 

Page 17 - Tess has been removed from the final scene, I think this makes more sense as she isn't in the scene just before at the same location. 

Page 18 - In terms of the risk assessment, we'll have to work out a way of making it look like Tim speeds off in the car without him actually speeding due to safety issues.