MAJOR PROJECT: Script Draft 8 (final draft) Feedback

We shot the middle part of the script on the first two shoot days, with scenes 11 & 8 on shoot day 1 and scenes 7, 9 & 10 on shoot day 2. I allowed this because we were pretty much set with the middle of the script. This also allowed Alex more time to concentrate and develop the beginning and ending after the first two shoot days. By watching the production of the middle, this could also give us all ideas for the ending as we could understand what we want to see next.

Script draft 8




Feedback
- The beginning has a bit more to it, added in another punch line - *Printing sound* Tim: "Printing". I like the way he's brought in the printer now, rather than getting the document printed before Tess walks in. All links into the story well. Alex kept the conversation short and again we have got to the idea of the printer quicker. I am confident for this scene as the opening to the film now.

- Again, not sure if the van not starting is necessary to the story. I like the idea of the drugs, gives a good start for more punch lines throughout the story. Adds a bit more bulk to the scene too. 

- Think the surgery scene will look good in the edit, I will be able to build the tension with the lead up to the blood splatter.

- The discovery of the drugs lead on well to the night scene. Good to see that idea developing throughout the story, we haven't just left them in scene 2. Makes more sense to the audience that we're drugging the owl too rather than throwing in a dead chick.

- Bringing Tess back in scene 12 and 13 is a good idea, wraps the story up by getting her involved at the end, even if it is only for a small amount of time. As if Tim hasn't learnt anything over his journey and she is still as disappointed as she was at the beginning. This also bulks out the ending even more. The added conversation in the previous draft was a good start but bringing Tess back adds to it even more.

- Good idea bringing back Uncle Pete's drugs, a good reminder from the discovery in scene 2 and the drugging of the owl in scene 10.

- I like the new ending. We may not need to see them drive away, the punch line of "what does it taste like?" might be enough, however, I will play about with this in the edit. 

I think we have a good base script which we can develop on at the upcoming shoot days. I am confident that the script is amusing and it will come across like this when filming and then into the edit. We are working with an amazing set of cast members who no doubt will only be able to add good ideas to it during filming that we've not thought of. Last things to consider - where beginning titles are going (after "I'm vetman"?) and how we're going to put in the end credits, music? no music?