After receiving mine and Simon's feedback, Alex created script draft 2. This will be the script that will be used for the auditions. We are aware that the script will change again, but this version contains all the basic points that we want to have in the story. We will tell the candidates that the script will change so they are also aware.
Below is script draft 2:
My feedback:
Page 1 - Continuity issue: Hoodie over blue scrubs but he has a red stain on his shirt?
Page 2 - In terms of risk assessment, Tess needs to wear gloves while cleaning away the glass
It’s quicker - by page 9 we’ve seen him searching for the tools and meet Tess, then we meet Luke and Pete, and run over the dog, try to save the dog, and we meet Sheila
It's punchier at the funny parts
I think the script has progressed well since the first draft. The chat between Pete, Tim and Luke is smaller and doesn't feel too long. The funny parts are punchier as well, This is proved by the reduced amount of pages in the second draft. The first draft had 24 pages and the second now has 18 pages.
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