'AS LIVE' PRODUCTION: Script Draft 4

After taking on the feedback from Helen during meetings and Del during rehearsals, Katie and I have finished the script. We have tried our best to make it more conversational and less like a list, especially in Styles of the Season. I have also taken on board Adeline and Alfie's feedback on the script to make sure they are comfortable with what they're reading. I am very happy with the outcome and I'm hoping the script changes are clear in the rehearsals.

Script draft 4 (final):



Changes from script 3 include:
- After Katie and I had the script meeting with Helen, we realised we had a lot to change. The main thing being clearly stating our mission statement so the audience know what our show is about. Katie and I know what our mission statement is but the audience won't unless we clearly say it in the introduction. "The show that helps you take current fashion trends and style them in different and original ways" is very vague, and no one knows what "in different and original ways" means. Taking this feedback into consideration, we changed it to "the show that helps you take current fashion trends and style them in ways to help you stand out from the crowd" - This is a better explanation for the audience to tell them what our aim is with the show. 

- Another point from Helen was that we don't know who the presenters are, we need to introduce them better and make it personal. Katie did this by saying "I'm Adeline and I consider myself quite the fashion expert...but Alfie, well he needs all the help he can get" - this now applies that Adeline is our fashion expert who we want the audience to trust and Alfie is our bubbly character who is here to learn about the different fashion trends. I have continued this throughout, e.g. in the dad trainers segment (Old to New), Adeline is explaining what the trainers are and Alfie's responses are "oh, thats why they call them dad trainers" etc, as he is learning about them along with the audience.

- We have halved the teaser as programmes don't tend to tease the whole show, Katie and I have liaised with Drey on this (the editor of the teaser) to let her know what lines to keep in and what lines to cut out - cutting the teaser in half will also allow more time for the introduction or interviews, which are the more important parts. 

- Helen suggested that some of the links between topics were still slightly weak. I changed one on Katie's half of the script as an example and we liked it so kept it in there. The transition between the women and mens trends in Styles of the Season is now, "now, guys we haven't forgotten about you, there's no mesh involved with the mens trends, don't worry" - this gives an entertaining element to the serious segment. 

- I changed the script for our new drag act, Conor (Sapphire) and asked questions relating to his story and work. 

- I have changed the beginning of the DIY segment to mainly ad-lib as we want Adeline to talk about her own DIY struggle to relate to the audience, as most of the audience probably wouldn't be successful at making their own clothes either. This also makes the audience believe that the presenters will be learning from the DIY expert, Bonnie, as well as them.

- Katie and I liaised with Alex H, as he was editing the VT with Bonnie, to decide what the VT wants to include and what we want to talk about in the studio. As Bonnie's story is mainly about the independent sellers working online and how this impacts the high street stores, we decided to keep the VT creative and get her to make the vest top during this, and in the studio we'll ask her more about the business side, and online shops compared with high street stores - after Katie and I agreed this for this segment, I updated the script as it's in my half of the show.

- The questions for Bonnie and Conor are still quite long, I will talk to Adeline and Alfie about this, and ask them to shorten it slightly - giving the guests more time to talk, especially about both of their outfit inspirations / choices, as similarly to the aim of our show, both of their fashion senses are very different and anti-mainstream.